whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
