I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize