So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
