I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How does it feel to date your dad?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
