JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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