I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
FUCK WHALES
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
