Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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