ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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