So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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