i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
