I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
