TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
