Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize