It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize