She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
