wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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