just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
