i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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