Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to calm my uterus...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize