I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
