that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
