Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
