It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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