I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
