You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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