i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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