we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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