i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
