What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
