her vagine was all disorganized.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize