pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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