party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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