Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We are two peas in an std pod
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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