was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
