Barsexuality is the new black.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
