Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize