I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
