I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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