are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
