i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
