I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
