ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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