dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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