dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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