she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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