Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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