I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
