i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
