So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
