Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
