We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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