I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
