I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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