Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
