Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
love makes seman taste better
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
