I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
