i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
